Saturday, July 29, 2017

This Week in Trumpland July 29, 2017

THIS WEEK IN TRUMPLAND, a sixty second primer on the path to Armageddon: “Real Game of Thrones” edition

Trump politicizes Boy Scout Jamboree, inciting Boy Scouts to boo Obama and causing Boy Scouts of America to disavow Trump’s speech
During a speech in Long Island, Trump encourages police to use violence during arrests, causing police forces around the country to disavow Trump’s speech
Trump tweets that transgender people can no longer serve in the military, causing the military to disavow Trump’s tweet
The DOJ file an amicus brief asserting that the 1964 Civil Rights Act does not protect gays in the workplace
Trump continues to throw public shade at everyone who won’t do his bidding, including “very weak” AG Jeff Sessions, “sleazy” Adam Schiff, “Crooked” Hillary, Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski, and even the Republican party as a whole
In a Shakesperean ending to TrumpCare Senator John McCain, newly diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer, arrives on the Senate floor from his hospital bed to give a stirring speech about the importance of health care, disappoints feeling human beings everywhere by voting to continue discussion on an ObamaCare repeal law, and then stabs Trump in the heart by casting the deciding ballot against the repeal bill itself
New communications director Anthony Scaramucci says Steve Bannon “sucks his own c**k” but doesn’t explain how he knows that
Scaramucci accuses WH Chief of Staff Reince Priebus of being a leaker of secrets and challenges him to “prove he isn’t”
Scaramucci then calls Priebus a “f**king paranoid schizophrenic”
Trump fires Priebus via tweet and installs “great American” John F.Kelly as Chief of Staff
Chrissy Teigen joins the ranks of people who Trump has blocked from his Twitter account
Trump ranks himself second most presidential President, just behind Abraham Lincoln, causing Abraham Lincoln to spin in his grave

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