Saturday, June 17, 2017

This Week in Trumpland 6/17/2017

THIS WEEK IN TRUMPLAND, a sixty second primer on the path to Armageddon: “there’s a first time for everything” edition

Maryland and the District of Columbia sue Trump for violating the emoluments clause of the Constitution
Nearly 200 members of Congress also sue Trump for violating the emoluments clause of the Constitution
Trump threatens to break up the Ninth Circuit Court after it again strikes down Trump’s Muslim ban
DOJ confirms that Trump is being investigated for obstruction of justice
Trump intensifies his Twitter outbursts and challenges the integrity of his own Justice Department, calling the DOJ “phony” and “sad”
As if to prove Trump’s point, Attorney General Jefferson Sessions says “I don’t recall” or “I don’t remember” 26 times during his Senate testimony and refuses to answer various other questions “in case Trump later wants to assert executive privilege”
For the first time in U.S. history, the President and Vice-President simultaneously each retain criminal defense attorneys
Gunman opens fire on GOP congressmen during a baseball practice in Virginia seriously injuring five people, including House Majority Whip Steve Scalise
In first full Trump Cabinet meeting Trump states that “there has never been a president, with few exceptions, who has passed more legislation more quickly”, even though Congress has yet to pass a single major piece of legislation during his tenure
In the same Cabinet meeting, members go around the table praising Trump’s “integrity, strength, guidance and policies” after which the media is banished from the room
In a virtually unanimous vote of the Senate, Trump is stripped of his power to unilaterally lift sanctions against Russia 
Study shows that more than 16 million Americans believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows, though it’s unclear if Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is one of them
Trump blocks @StephenKing, the noted author, from his Twitter account

Saturday, June 10, 2017

This Week in Trumpland 6/10/2017

THIS WEEK IN TRUMPLAND: a sixty second primer on the path to Armageddon: “twitter storm” edition

Trump derides London Mayor on Twitter after terrorist attack near Parliament
Trump tells the Iranian people that terrorist attack in Tehran serves them right
Eric Trump says on Fox News that Democrats “are not even people”
Eric Trump foundation diverts millions of dollars in donations intended for St Jude Children’s Hospital to Trump organization and its cronies
Jeremy Corbyn, the Bernie Sanders of the U.K. scores huge upset in a snap election, leaving Bernie followers in the U.S. wondering what might have been
Meanwhile back at home, Georgia Republican Congressional candidate Karen Handel states in a debate that as a conservative she does not support a liveable wage
Kamala Harris joins the growing club of progressive female senators that older, white regressive males keep trying to silence on the senate floor
In stark contrast to her name, Reality Winner is accused of leaking classified information about RussiaGate
After eight Middle East Countries sever ties with Qatar Trump takes credit via tweet, apparently unaware that 11,000 U.S, troops are stationed there
Trump twitter storm blames Justice Department for watering down original Muslim Ban
Former FBI director James Comey testifies that Trump is a liar and a predator, inciting Trump to declare “total victory”, and to finally feel understood
FBI secures indictment of NYC based Russian mobsters for trafficking in thousands of pounds of stolen chocolate confections, causing Mob to tweet that we need chocolate now more than ever

Saturday, June 3, 2017

The week in Trumpland 6/3/2017

THIS WEEK IN TRUMPLAND: a sixty second primer on the path to Armageddon: “tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are” edition

Just days after Trump’s blundering, bumbling, blustering international trip, Angela Merkel and other Western leaders state they can no longer count on the U.S. as friends and allies
Punctuating their remarks, Trump pulls the U.S. out of the Paris Climate accords, yet another step in abdicating our country's leadership in the free world
Russian President Vladimir Putin declares that Trump is a “straight and honest” person
After several appellate courts block Trump’s Muslim ban, the Justice Department petitions the U.S. Supreme Court for an emergency review to uphold the ban
A noose is left at the National Museum of African American History and Culture, a grim reminder that racism and hate are alive and well in the U.S.
Bill Maher uses a racial slur on television, a grim reminder that racism and hate can come from the left as well as the right
Trump and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton devolve into a 5th grade level Twitter war, a grim reminder that politics "for the people" is in a deep coma
Trump tweets a nonsensical half sentence literally containing gibberish, a grim reminder that this is the level of the President of the United States
Sean Spicer claims in a press conference that Trump and a few close advisors know exactly what “covfefe” means, a grim reminder that the Trump administration believes we are all dumber than a 5th grader

Saturday, May 27, 2017

This Week in Trumpland 5/27/2017

THIS WEEK IN TRUMPLAND: a sixty second primer on the path to Armageddon: “foreign affairs” edition

Only hours after Trump signs a $110 billion dollar arms deal with Saudi Arabia, the country miraculously donates $100 million dollar to an as yet amorphous Ivanka foundation
While addressing a group of Israeli leaders in Jerusalem, Trump states he “just got back from the Middle East”
At the Western wall in Jerusalem, known for thousands of years as a holy place of pilgrimage and tears, Trump writes “it’s a great honor to be here with all my friends – so amazing”
For the second time in two days, the internet goes viral with Melania swatting Trump’s hand away when he tries to grab hers as they disembark Air Force One
A federal appeals court in Virginia refuses to reinstate Trump’s Muslim ban, saying it “drips with religious intolerance, animus and discrimination”
At NATO conference, Trump shoves Prime Minister of Montenegro aside for a photo-op and then refuses to affirm NATO mutual-aid clause, instead lecturing NATO countries on underpaying their dues
At G-7 Summit, Trump says Germans “are bad, very bad”, for selling cars in the U.S.
After a bomb at an Ariana Grande concert in England kills dozens of young people, Trump calls the murderers “losers”
In the most aggressive violation yet of the constitution’s emoluments clause, Trump aides assert that he will not identify or return payments or profits from foreign governments
After it is revealed that Trump son-in-law and senior adviser Jared Kushner is now a person of interest in RussiaGate investigation, The Washington Post reports that Kushner and the Russian Ambassador discussed having a secret communication channel that could not be monitored by U.S. intelligence agencies
Internet explodes again, this time with video of French President Emmanuel Macron and Trump in handshake war, with each president’s knuckles turning white, their respective faces tightened, and their jaws clenched
During a photo session with Trump and his family, the Pope’s face registers hellish horror

Saturday, May 20, 2017

This Week in Trumpland 5/20/2017

THIS WEEK IN TRUMPLAND: a sixty second primer on the path to Armageddon, “connecting the dots" edition
Russian officials brag they planned to use Flynn to manipulate Trump
Trump asks Comey to stop Michael Flynn investigation
Trump reveals classified information to Russians at a meeting inside the White House
Russian President Vladimir Putin offers to provide evidence to U.S. Congress than no confidential evidence was passed to the Russians at White House meeting
Robert Mueller, whose firm represents the Trump family, Jared Kushner and former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, is appointed special counsel to investigate Trump and RussiaGate
Three candidates on short list to replace James Comey as FBI director take themselves out of the running
Trump cites "tremendous deal" in trip to Middle East, a region known for lying, cheating, traitorous leaders
After Trump calls Comey a “nutjob”, Comey’s father counters by saying Trump is nuts and belongs in an institution
Melania urges Trump to get rid of Sean Spicer
White House staffers start to lawyer up
Roger Ailes goes to that big network in the sky, or is it that big network down under (no, not Australia)

Sunday, May 14, 2017

This week in Trumpland 5/13/17

THIS WEEK IN TRUMPLAND: a sixty second primer on the path to Armageddon, “slow down I can’t keep up” edition
Reminding us that reason still exists, albeit not in the United States, France elects Emmanuel Macron as president in a repudiation of the far right
Trump fires FBI director James Comey when Comey refuses to drop RussiaGate investigation or to “pledge loyalty” to Trump
After an arrogant, grandstanding Trump tells the press that "arrogant, grandstanding" Comey had lost the support of his colleagues, acting FBI director testifies to Congress that serving under Comey was one of the great honors of his life and that “the vast majority of FBI employees enjoyed a deep and positive connection to Director Comey”
In an interview with The Economist, Trump suggests that an economic stimulus concept called “priming the pump”, most often associated with FDR and the New Deal of the 1930’s, was actually invented by him.
Sally Yates testifies that she warned Trump numerous times that Michael Flynn was compromised and could be blackmailed by the Russians
Trump asserts he and his surrogates can’t be expected to be honest and accurate and threatens to shut down the daily White House briefings if the media is going to insist on accuracy
Oklahoma Republican representative Mike Ritze proposes handing over his state’s 82,000 non-English speaking students to Immigration and Customs Enforcement saying “do we really have to educate non-citizens?”
Idaho Republican Rep. Raul Labrador gets booed at a town hall meeting when he proclaims that “no one ever died from lack of access to health care”
As part of their popular frequent scorpion program, a scorpion is spotted on board a United Airlines flight for the second time in less than a month
Trump congratulates “Fake News” media outlets for accurately reporting that he takes two scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie while others at the table only get one scoop